Discipline Isn't What You Think

How doing discipline wrong is ruining your transformation (and probably your confidence).

When most people think of discipline, they think of the ice-in-your-veins, “no excuses” approach.

Suck it up. Stay hard. Nobody cares—just get to work.

This version of discipline, for some reason, has had a lengthy cultural moment.

Maybe it's because it's ego-inflating and supremacist? It leads us to feel immense amounts of self-importance and elitism anytime we string together some weeks or months of consistency.

Cool…I guess. But that approach leaves little margin for error—and error is inevitable.

It's a "hard love" message—but in real life, it often leads to burnout, frustration, complete disengagement, or a total miss in terms of focusing on what matters.

Life is wildly volatile and uncertain. Unexpected stress, circumstances, injuries, schedule changes, and competing priorities will test your ability to stay on track.

There are plenty of people with more grit & determination than I have. These kinds of people often operate as more “machine than man” and if that works for them, more power to them. It’s just never actually worked for me.

Here are a few things that require discipline in my life right now:

• Prioritizing marriage & friendships

• Pursuing an alignment of beliefs & behaviors

• Building and leading multiple brands, products, and teams

• Training for competitions, races, and other physical challenges

• Resting

• Holding space for creativity again

And here’s what i’ve learned about applying discipline to this list of pursuits:

Discipline isn’t optimal, it’s functional.

If my discipline can’t bend, it will break.

Brick Training Session

Real discipline—the kind that actually lasts—isn’t about force, aggression, or even willpower. It’s about sticking with the process no matter what, even if that process looks different than you originally planned.

However, here's a critical distinction:

Flexibility isn’t an excuse to go easy on yourself—it’s a strategy to keep showing up.

It’s the tool that allows you to maintain discipline when things don’t go perfectly.

Used correctly, it doesn’t weaken resolve; it strengthens it.

The Flexibility Protocol: Adapt, Don’t Abandon

When obstacles come up (because they will), don’t see them as a pass to quit—see them as a challenge to adapt. Here’s how to stay disciplined when life doesn’t go according to plan:

#One — Define the Non-Negotiable

Discipline isn’t all-or-nothing thinking—it’s more of an always something mindset. Every habit or goal should have a core commitment that is non-negotiable.

Ask yourself: What’s the absolute baseline that keeps me engaged, even when I can’t do everything?

• If you planned to go to class at the gym, but you end up working late, your non-negotiable might be going to the gym anyway and hopping on a bike for half an hour.

• If you’re building a journaling habit, but your mental energy is drained, your non-negotiable could be a one-sentence summary of your thoughts instead.

#Two — Have an Alternative Plan

The key to discipline isn’t always executing Plan A—it’s having a solid Plan B that still moves you forward.

• Can’t make it to the gym? Do a bodyweight session at home.

• Can’t cook a clean meal? Make the best choice available instead of throwing the whole day away (like, a grilled chicken salad versus a box of coco puffs).

#Three — Measure Success by Continuity, Not Perfection

Success isn’t about executing the ideal plan—it’s about staying engaged in the process. Instead of aiming for 100% adherence, track streaks of engagement. You might not always hit your best performance, but as long as you don’t disengage completely, you're still progressing.

• Remember that anything above zero compounds.

• "Never miss twice" is a simple but powerful tactic. One off day happens. Two off days become a pattern.

#Four — Know When to Push and When to Pivot

Discipline means doing the hard things, but it also means knowing when to redirect your approach. Flexibility isn’t about avoiding difficulty—it’s about choosing productive difficulty.

• If you’re exhausted, is discipline forcing the hardest workout, or is it scaling back so you can stay consistent tomorrow?

• If your schedule shifts, is discipline sticking to an old plan that no longer fits, or is it restructuring so you can keep making progress?

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The Balance Between Commitment & Adaptation

The old-school model of discipline says: “Do it no matter what.” The problem with that is it assumes the conditions will always be the same.

But the reality is, life is dynamic, and what works one day may not be possible the next.

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That’s why flexible discipline isn’t about making things easier—it’s about making them doable.

It’s a structured approach to commitment, ensuring that setbacks don’t become stops.

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Rigid discipline works until life happens. At that point, you typically end up flaming out or neglecting other things that matter.

Flexible discipline works for life. And that’s what makes it the key to consistency, longevity, and real transformation.

Transformation requires both a tough and a tactical approach.

A MAJOR caveat:

Here’s a final thought for you as you consider sustainable discipline.

We often compare ourselves to the best of the best in whatever we’re pursuing, measuring our discipline against theirs. But we forget one critical thing—balance.

The best don’t have balance. They’ve already accepted that being elite means neglecting anything and everything outside of their singular pursuit.

So, you have to ask yourself—what level of achievement is enough for you? For example, i’ve accepted that i’m not going to be a contender for winning an Ironman with the level of investment i’m putting into preparation. For me, enough is showing up, competing, and enjoying the experience.

If you want to be elite, there is no such thing as enough. You must be rigidly disciplined in that one thing, at the cost of everything else.

But if you want a life that is multi-faceted, full, dynamic, and well-rounded—your discipline has to bend so it doesn’t break.